i really do think i should stop reading for a while, because i get irrational thoughts and i know it just makes me lapse back into being negative about stuff.
somehow i really do crave being special
special. to someone, to anyone, to everyone. right now i'm sniffling a bit and wondering why you disappeared, why you came back but never contacted me, nothing. it's an irrational jealousy, that i know, but i can't seem to be able to control it.
i'm getting increasingly quick-tempered, just like that time. i'm not quite sure how far i'm going to fall now. the tunnel of light is closing on me.
irrational, irrational. during these times i wonder how and when i'll die.
i hate this self-pitying side of me, but what is there to suppress it?
then again, i saw something really interesting in stall today. i guess i'll post the pic some other times.
oh wellies, to grandpa, speedy recovery. and i do hope u get out tks asap. and so much for the mosquitoes that stubk you. I pray.
track training tml.i needa recharge my batteries like an Energizer Bunny! ha!!!
i PERSUADED qing to join marathon.tho coach say i shldnt join and injuried myself. but, like finally, she agrees after 2hrs of persudation on MSN! Cousin larry is joining me tooo!!!!!! whoots. ive a team of cousins joining this yr's marathon with me!! WHEEEE!!!!
so much so, they are gona be my cheerleaders for the coming bi. and my race is drawing nearer and nearer. i pray i dont get any injuries during trianing these days. Please please, i cant afford them.
and a good thing is dad's sponsoring me for Bi!!!! :))) and i'll make sure i'll brush up on my swimming and uphill runs.
i'm gona kill them.
penned.
8/21/2005 09:28:00 PM